O Pen 1/24-- Hoagland, Voyage, 2 by Shapiro, Lora on the Telephone, Kipling

Shapiro’s “ to a muse” was about writer’s block; “Give me a first lie, you who are far away. “ possibility (and longing)
“A student laughs. I died once. Red is gray.” back to writer’s block – short choppy sentences.
a little possibility — and the jays’ shrill seem to add to the annoyance. More a diary piece.

Desire Lines: we made fun of it. Who cares about the “I” who can see, cannot and namedrops?

For the Hoagland — this had a good 1/2 discussion — fabulous poem — an Odyssey with unusual details --
The first two stanzas — delightful — the imbedded voyage in a book about voyages; the pulse of the line, the enjambements... (see below)
Doesn’t matter that metaphor messy? Set up: book. characters that die makes us

Voyage -- by Tony Hoagland

I feel as if we opened a book about great ocean voyages
and found ourselves on a great ocean voyage:
sailing through December, around the horn of Christmas
and into the January Sea, and sailing on and on

in a novel without a moral but one in which
all the characters who died in the middle chapters
make the sunsets near the book's end more beautiful. too ironic like ending?
sweet? death set up
—And someone is spreading a map upon a table,
and someone is hanging a lantern from the stern,
and someone else says, "I'm only sorry
that I forgot my blue parka; It's turning cold." mundane details;

Sunset like a burning wagon train unusual
Sunrise like a dish of cantaloupe trying too hard. vs. relationship
Clouds like two armies clashing in the sky;
Icebergs and tropical storms,
That's the kind of thing that happens on our ocean voyage—
relationship with himself; with life.
And in one of the chapters I was blinded by love
And in another, anger made us sick like swallowed glass unusual
I lay in my bunk and slept for so long,


The sunset like a burning wagon train (the power of words to evoke connotations — wild west, indians, menace, fire)
the sunrise, less fresh, (overworked perhaps) as a cantaloupe, the crazy detail of the “blue” parka in chatty colloquial dialogue, after spreading out a map — good irony
As for the ending : troubling, perhaps
a little too clever…
redemption…
Made a few people think of Stanley Kunitz : the Layers – next chapter in our transformation
seasons, time, chronology… emotional layers…
“You can’t go home again” – cliché…
We enjoy punishment in fiction
Wherever you are, there you aare.
choosing the level of interconnectiveness.
do we know what we’re looking for?

Lorca: looking at the title: The Poet Speaks to His Beloved on the Telephone --
We talked about how the title serves. I like the notes about the image of the wooden booth or coffin, the way to translate a physical situation to an emotional with the voice... All in the condensed form of a sonnet...

Kipling: the form gives a sense of a liturgy... And the “not this time” insinuated in “not this tide” which is coupled with
tidings…